:: grace finds beauty in everything :: [but only if we allow it in]

man-made beauty.


Sometimes I honestly don't understand some people who continually choose to not show me grace. Or people who decide to hold grudges against people for the stupidest things, and it hurts them much more than anyone else. it's incredibly frustrating, and makes me not want to even be around them. maybe I'm on the defensive too much at this point, but after trying so hard it sometimes seems like people just want to judge you for everything.

Francis Chan spoke at the National Youth Workers Convention this weekend, and addressed this kind of thing. Not only did it help me realize that sometimes other people's opinions of you are crap and you just ought not to pay any attention, but to also evaluate your own position.

happily, I can say I've let go of most everything I used to hold against people. and I've been intentionally confronting any issues that arise between me and other members of the body, in order to keep peace as much as possible. there is still one person I can see I am not forgiving. and that hurts, and it scary and overwhelming. but it helps me to give others MORE grace, as I put it into perspective.

God's beauty.

I mean, others might look at my situation and think, "why don't you just get over it already?" it may be so simple and silly to them, and they may not understand why it's been so hard for me. at the same time, tho, if they care enough about me and are involved my life for real, they can see the progress I've made in so many other relationships. and they can show me grace by accepting that and being there for me through the other situation.

and when I look at my own situation, I can think, "well maybe it's as hard for them to show me grace as it might be for me to show it to someone else." essentially it's all relative. right?

whatever it all is. I'm learning the importance of grace and mercy. forgiveness and kindness. true fellowship. and seriously, love. and I do find beauty in so many situations. such as when I got a boot on my car today. I was kind, friendly, and respectful to the man who came to charge me $80 to take it off. and I think he really needed that. and it was good.

so......I will be more gracious and loving to those I feel are ungracious to me. and I will continue to surrender my unforgiveness to God, for Him to heal even the most broken areas of life.

may He reign.

Him is happy about life.

I just got hit by a wave of sobering realization. all those babies, terminated before they left their mother's womb. those are people who should be here right now.

their lack of chance at life is a haunting reality. God, this place is screwed up.

not slimy, just edgy.

I can't handle the cookie cutter duplicity any longer. It's gonna take a miracle.

E verdade.

Is That Alright?

with you.

Quit. It.

SPAGHET!

brought to you in part by:

success! birthday and day in general made perfect by everyone. thank you all.

a glimpse of Jesus

I stopped by Smith's tonight at about 11:45 for some dish soap. The only lines open upstairs were the self-scan. Something ALWAYS goes wrong when I use them, so that boded ill.

All three were in use, and two men in line in front of me. Suddenly, a lady dropped a case of iced tea, all glass bottles. They broke, of course. One of the men in front of me was wearing a black Smith's shirt, and was trying to buy a bottle of water, obviously at the end of his shift.

The attendant called for a clean-up, and the lady and her friend tried their hand at it. Meanwhile, the Smith's employee in front of me looked around, almost emitting a perceivable sigh, and retrieved a caution sign from another checkstand to place by the mess. He then proceeded to pick up the case of broken glass, and wet and sticky mess and put it in a bag to throw away. As he walked by me to dispose of it, looking a bit tired, he even managed to give me a polite smile.

There are some people whom I truly admire. And sometimes I'm allowed to witness moments of true goodness. It surely takes my eyes off myself.

Random Smith's employee, I hold you in high regard. Thank you for your kindness.

big plans

at an incredible high lately. be warned- it generally comes crashing down unexpectedly.
and hard.
please, please not again!

Dear God:

I don't think I can.
Will You?

::::: it's all rhetorical :::::::

poor Millsap. by the time we match the offer sheet, get rid of Booz, and begin playing again, everyone's gonna basically expect an easy ride to the championship, considering all the hype his name has generated. ha. and we'll be lucky if we make it past the first round, most likely.

and that's my semi-pro prediction. hopefully the fanatical fair-weathers don't massacre him as well, when he doesn't fulfill these high-falutin' expectations.

ohhhhhhhh, SNAP! take THAT for talkin a language you don't speak.

The Hardest Part

And the hardest part
Was letting go not taking part
Was the hardest part

And the strangest thing
was waiting for that bell to ring
It was the strangest start

I could feel it go down
Bittersweet I could taste in my mouth
Silver lining the clouds
Oh and I
I wish that I could work it out

And the hardest part
Was letting go not taking part
You really broke my heart

And I tried to sing
But I couldn't think of anything
That was the hardest part

I could feel it go down
You left the sweetest taste in my mouth
Your silver lining the clouds
Oh and I
Oh and I
I wonder what it's all about

I wonder what it's all about

Everything I know is wrong
Everything I do just comes undone
And everything is torn apart

Oh and it's the hardest part
That's the hardest part
Yeah that's the hardest part
That's the hardest part

:: Coldplay ::








































. . : : a heart isn't always broken by a lover

uhh......yeah...

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight". -Proverbs 3:5-6

Sabine!

Fact:

most archetypal persons who endow us with their personal sports commentary of players, their abilities, and their life situations do so by simply reiterating the stance of others- not by personal examination of said players in real time games or other similar venues of exhibition.

This rather foul and disgusting practice exemplifies my sincere distaste for those who assert their views of said matters, which is essentially blatant plagiarism.

Hrump.

Great Basin Kingdom: An Economic History of Latter-Day Saints 1830-1900, By Leonard J. Arrington

Susanna Metzger
Essay #2
Around 2000

The close relationship between economics and religion was obvious in the Mormon’s choice of settlement in the Salt Lake Valley; a secluded yet fertile land, the perfect place for their intentions. The Mormon people who left Nauvoo were already planning on settling in the Great Basin, and Joseph Smith’s death only hastened their journey.

After gathering much information on the Great Basin, they arrived in the Salt Lake Valley July 1847. Explorations revealed a dry, mountainous land, protected by huge mountains to the east and west. Committees were formed, and each was assigned their own work tasks for building up the city. One such group was called the “council”, and acted as a type of government.

In September, the arrival of about 1,540 more people forced the council to command more houses to be built, and a large field staked off for farming purposes. A type of famine came upon them during the winter, caused by destroyed crops and too many people.

The second year, land was distributed, laws were made concerning regulation of natural resources, and irrigation canals and ditches were dug. They also constructed more public works, and began a circulation of money, backed by gold dust from California. Although the Mormons tried to prevent another winter famine, they failed, and hunger was again a problem during the winter. Also, as a means to provide for the poor, the council prohibited the use of corn for making whiskey, and commanded the more fortunate to share with the less fortunate. When spring began to come, the people grew discouraged, and began to leave. But Brigham Young reminded them that God had called them to the Great Basin.

The Mormon settlement of the Salt Lake Valley was patterned after their earlier attempts, and their seemingly different way of living can be attributed to their seclusion from the rest of the country.

Great Basin Kingdom: An Economic History of Latter-Day Saints 1830-1900, By Leonard J. Arrington

Susanna Metzger
Essay 1
around 2000

Mormon history goes back into the beginning of the nineteenth century. The founder of Mormonism, Joseph Smith, claimed to have been visited by angels, and to have translated from gold plates a 600-page record of America’s early settlers. Most Mormons come from New England, and strongly believed they needed to establish Zion, God’s kingdom, on earth.

Economics played an important part in the early history of the church, and material wealth was as important to them as spirituality. Mormonism was founded in New York, but shortly moved to Jackson County, Missouri. While there, the church devised a stewardship plan of their possessions, to help the well being of the entire church body. They also began to design a meticulous city. But they were driven out of Missouri, so they migrated to Kirtland, Ohio, where their headquarters were.

In Kirtland, they established a banking system, but after its failure, they moved to Far West, Missouri. Being driven from there, they settled in Nauvoo, Illinois. They prospered in Nauvoo until Joseph Smith and his brother were assassinated, and once more, the Mormons were driven away. They set up camps in Iowa, and sent out a Mormon battalion in order to earn money. They continued on pioneering until they reached Salt Lake Valley in July 1847. Once there, they built a village and set up their own resources in order to be independent. They realized cooperation and unity was the key to their independence, so they stressed the importance of that in their business, colonization, and their church.

The Mormons served in church without pay, being expected to earn wages elsewhere. Brigham Young was the head of the Mormon Church, and under him, bishops. The bishops were heads over separate churches, or wards, and in each ward were teachers. A council of 50 was established, who worked in political circles. Something of great importance to every good Mormon is a mission, and every male was called to serve one. It could last two to five years, and the called one must pay for it himself. Economics were very important to the Mormon Church; it was the framework to their society.

BURN THE INSTITUTION!

and all who subscribe.
it's over.

frisbee, anyone?

Jake Ulasich is obsessed with ultimate frisbee.

sorry, just had to say it. :)

so more frisbee today. a nice, cool breeze lent itself to our needy bodies. it was good. the last game I felt like i played some stellar frisbee, and that always feels rockin. Mike Parsons thought it was a good time too.

then a jaunt on over to the Moore's to have a cuppa joe (yum!) and watch the onion. heh. funny stuff.

next in line was brewvies, where Leigh and shared a pizza (artichoke hearts!!!) and we all shared some beer. Jacob, Daniel, and Elizabeth remenisced of how they used to do the star trek simulations at the elementary school- haha!

I took Liz home, then got ready to go out with Rebecca. we headed to the W Lounge for some meet and greet of my new friend Alex (Danny Dance, yo.) who gave us some champagne (VIP!) and then we did some dancing and chatting before taking off. I came home to a delicious rain, which brought out the delightful scent of our alfalfa growing in the....lawn. yum.

tomorrow shall be just as jam-packed: church at EFree, then either lunch with some singles there, or lunch with Mike P., then tennis is it's not too wet. next, graduation party for Ryan and a few other ICSers. then Jaron and I are headed to the K2 "Space Between" group, where i hope to run into Nickolai and possibly Rio. and maybe others... then we will go for coffee.

might as well make the most of the jobless state, me thinks. I concur.

here vs. there

Jesse Ambrose says I should say this:

"So, I might potentially be visiting England in a few months. Should I just drop the visiting part, and make it a stay?"

lol. he's a hoot.

:: a moment like this ::

I's hardcore.




haha. every time Michael tries to get a picture, I leap into view with the cheesiest look on my face. I think it's starting to frustrate him, but I find hilarity in it every time. so I shall continue.




a lovely tree.


I pulled this off a friend's brother's friend's blog. I thought it was funny. And no, I'm not incredibly bored.....just waiting for something.....

Some advice from the wee ones

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY? (Written by kids)

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10


WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. -- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7


The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
-- Ricky, age 10

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a few of us at the Living Traditions Festival earlier this month. we had just finished an Irish "Sing a Long". it was fabulous.