man-made beauty.
Sometimes I honestly don't understand some people who continually choose to not show me grace. Or people who decide to hold grudges against people for the stupidest things, and it hurts them much more than anyone else. it's incredibly frustrating, and makes me not want to even be around them. maybe I'm on the defensive too much at this point, but after trying so hard it sometimes seems like people just want to judge you for everything.
Francis Chan spoke at the National Youth Workers Convention this weekend, and addressed this kind of thing. Not only did it help me realize that sometimes other people's opinions of you are crap and you just ought not to pay any attention, but to also evaluate your own position.
happily, I can say I've let go of most everything I used to hold against people. and I've been intentionally confronting any issues that arise between me and other members of the body, in order to keep peace as much as possible. there is still one person I can see I am not forgiving. and that hurts, and it scary and overwhelming. but it helps me to give others MORE grace, as I put it into perspective.
God's beauty.
I mean, others might look at my situation and think, "why don't you just get over it already?" it may be so simple and silly to them, and they may not understand why it's been so hard for me. at the same time, tho, if they care enough about me and are involved my life for real, they can see the progress I've made in so many other relationships. and they can show me grace by accepting that and being there for me through the other situation.
and when I look at my own situation, I can think, "well maybe it's as hard for them to show me grace as it might be for me to show it to someone else." essentially it's all relative. right?
whatever it all is. I'm learning the importance of grace and mercy. forgiveness and kindness. true fellowship. and seriously, love. and I do find beauty in so many situations. such as when I got a boot on my car today. I was kind, friendly, and respectful to the man who came to charge me $80 to take it off. and I think he really needed that. and it was good.
so......I will be more gracious and loving to those I feel are ungracious to me. and I will continue to surrender my unforgiveness to God, for Him to heal even the most broken areas of life.
may He reign.
Him is happy about life.
