Child of the wilderness
Born into emptiness
Learn to be lonely
Learn to find your way in darkness
Who will be there for you
Comfort and care for you
Learn to be lonely
Learn to be your one companion
Never dreamed out in the world
There are arms to hold you
You’ve always known your heart was on its own
So laugh in your loneliness
Child of the wilderness
Learn to Be lonely
Learn how to love life that is lived alone
Learn to be lonely
Life can be lived life can be loved alone
:: Learn To Be Lonely (Phantom Of The Opera)::
so true.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
mais de voce
Tonight Kurt Gelman and I decided that the claim of Michael Phelps being the greatest Olympian because of his medal count isn't well-grounded. Swimming has so many events, of course you can win loads of medals! Then you have people who do extremely difficult events, but only have a shot at one medal per Olympics. So it's not an appropriate comparison. He's great, don't get me wrong. But greatest Olympian EVER? hmm....
There's been far too much eating and speaking going on in my life today-now my jaw is as sore as ever. So, I took some more lortab to combat it. But then I spilled my coffee all over the floor and my hand. Tears may have been close at hand......
Tomorrow after work I head out to Destination Unknown......a youth event with my church, Salt Lake Evangelical Free. Funny thing about this said event, however. The only students signed up so far include my 3 youngest siblings, a few other homeschoolers, and 1 other kid who Lea says, "he is LIKE a homeschooler". So. We're in for a socially awkward, very eclectic trip.....to the unknown. Hmm. Wonder what will go down?
Speaking of church......(I listen to the Relevant podcast too much. the segway fascination has been rubbing off on me for sure!) I've been in a VBS drama for Sunday School the last few months. they split it up, instead of doing it for one week, they've been doing it on Sundays. I volunteered to Lea to be in the drama. And ended up with the lead role. It's been a lot of fun, but a lot of lines to memorize! The best part is, I play a Creation Scientist. My specialty! So i can basically get up on a soapbox, and it's real! well. not an actual, physical soapbox........more like, a real, figurative soapbox.....um. ya. I have to go. I have a food. in the oven.....
So I have a major dilemma. I need to move out by winter, for various reasons, but mostly because I can't live in Stockton and be involved in anything extensively. It's too time and fuel consuming. Plus, getting to work in the winter will be a bear. But all the housing options are not as ideal as I would like. In reality, all I want is to have my own place. Even if small and crummy. I'm so sick of having to move constantly, and into other people's homes. It's draining. And, it's my biggest struggle right now. Watching most of my friends and family get married and start a home together is painful- now, more so because of the home factor, and not the man factor. Good switch? Bad? I'm not sure. I've been avoiding the decision because I can't afford to live on my own, but dread having to accommodate myself yet again to a new household. Sigh. Anyway......I need help/wisdom/prayer in making this decision. Work does play into it as well, and currently I don't know how stable my job is. So I'm also afraid to make a move, then have to get a new job, and then have to move again.
Yet another extremely complicated dilemma in my life, which I must deal with, and not ignore. Speaking of.......I had a few good confrontations recently. Which I initiated. One about Calvanism/predestination, and another with someone I had to tell I am not interested in. Ouch. Hardcore. But it went well. It all did. Praise God or honesty, humility, and trust. Without it, I have a super hard time with confrontation.
This has been quite the all over the place and disjointed post. Guess that happens when you don't blog enough, and your life events begin to blurrrrrrrrrrr together!
This is what the maintenance manager found dying outside our building at work:
It was super small, but the first scorpion I've ever seen! too bad it was dying. A Friend/coworker and I are going to try to find some more.
This is Ryan Dahl. He's in our youth group. He's pretty much best friends with Kate and Abi. And he's the bad guy in the drama I'm in for VBS. He's pretty much awesome. For a 17 year old.
In other news. Congratulations to my sister Charity, for being accepted to Grand Canyon University! She starts September 1st, and I'm crazy happy and excited that she finally gets to go back to school!!!!! Woot!
There's been far too much eating and speaking going on in my life today-now my jaw is as sore as ever. So, I took some more lortab to combat it. But then I spilled my coffee all over the floor and my hand. Tears may have been close at hand......
Tomorrow after work I head out to Destination Unknown......a youth event with my church, Salt Lake Evangelical Free. Funny thing about this said event, however. The only students signed up so far include my 3 youngest siblings, a few other homeschoolers, and 1 other kid who Lea says, "he is LIKE a homeschooler". So. We're in for a socially awkward, very eclectic trip.....to the unknown. Hmm. Wonder what will go down?
Speaking of church......(I listen to the Relevant podcast too much. the segway fascination has been rubbing off on me for sure!) I've been in a VBS drama for Sunday School the last few months. they split it up, instead of doing it for one week, they've been doing it on Sundays. I volunteered to Lea to be in the drama. And ended up with the lead role. It's been a lot of fun, but a lot of lines to memorize! The best part is, I play a Creation Scientist. My specialty! So i can basically get up on a soapbox, and it's real! well. not an actual, physical soapbox........more like, a real, figurative soapbox.....um. ya. I have to go. I have a food. in the oven.....
So I have a major dilemma. I need to move out by winter, for various reasons, but mostly because I can't live in Stockton and be involved in anything extensively. It's too time and fuel consuming. Plus, getting to work in the winter will be a bear. But all the housing options are not as ideal as I would like. In reality, all I want is to have my own place. Even if small and crummy. I'm so sick of having to move constantly, and into other people's homes. It's draining. And, it's my biggest struggle right now. Watching most of my friends and family get married and start a home together is painful- now, more so because of the home factor, and not the man factor. Good switch? Bad? I'm not sure. I've been avoiding the decision because I can't afford to live on my own, but dread having to accommodate myself yet again to a new household. Sigh. Anyway......I need help/wisdom/prayer in making this decision. Work does play into it as well, and currently I don't know how stable my job is. So I'm also afraid to make a move, then have to get a new job, and then have to move again.
Yet another extremely complicated dilemma in my life, which I must deal with, and not ignore. Speaking of.......I had a few good confrontations recently. Which I initiated. One about Calvanism/predestination, and another with someone I had to tell I am not interested in. Ouch. Hardcore. But it went well. It all did. Praise God or honesty, humility, and trust. Without it, I have a super hard time with confrontation.
This has been quite the all over the place and disjointed post. Guess that happens when you don't blog enough, and your life events begin to blurrrrrrrrrrr together!
This is what the maintenance manager found dying outside our building at work:
It was super small, but the first scorpion I've ever seen! too bad it was dying. A Friend/coworker and I are going to try to find some more.
This is Ryan Dahl. He's in our youth group. He's pretty much best friends with Kate and Abi. And he's the bad guy in the drama I'm in for VBS. He's pretty much awesome. For a 17 year old.
In other news. Congratulations to my sister Charity, for being accepted to Grand Canyon University! She starts September 1st, and I'm crazy happy and excited that she finally gets to go back to school!!!!! Woot!
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Pain & Joy
My wisdom teeth were removed Thursday. The dentist has always been one of my biggest fears- I guess I just don't like someone drilling around in my mouth. Can you blame me? But since I have health insurance/dental for once in my life, I decided to take advantage of it. Wednesday I actually had a cavity filled, as well. Now that's all out of the way, I can focus on other fun things.....like getting another mole removed. No worries, just precautionary..... Hopefully!
this is me at home after the surgery. Thankfully, they were all in so it was a quick one and I didn't swell up a lot.
The best part of this ordeal is that my newfound friends, the Gelmans, came out to visit me. Not only did they drive all the way out from Sandy to Stockton, but they have 4 kids ages 5 and under. What friends! We rarely get visitors here because people for some reason seem to think it's our duty to drive in to visit them all the time, and somehow the friendship doesn't work both ways. But Kurt and Lea Gelman are troopers for sure!!! Lea is my new best friend in Utah- we have declared our undying love to each other. Grin. Seriously, though. Since all my other best friends and sisters now live in other states and countries, God truly has blessed me with her friendship. Even with her being a few years older and having 4 kids, we still connected way better than you could have planned. I am blessed.
I took Lea with me to Lagoon for my work Lagoon day a few weeks ago. This is us, after a long hot day of walking around, enjoying some of life's best: fruit.
Lea's true side comes out at youth group.
at the end of June, beginning of July, I went as a youth leader for the Challenge Conference, an Evangelical Free Church Of America youth conference that happens every two years. There were only 4 leaders, Lea and Kurt Gelman, and me and my friend Erik. Lea and I bonded. I pretty much poured out my heart with her- t'was good.
at youth group: Kurt is the youth pastor at church, and I babysit their 4 kids every youth night. Here I am with their youngest, Zion. He's adorable.
Now I'm just chillaxin at home, getting bored and catching up on The Office. My jaw hurts.
this is me at home after the surgery. Thankfully, they were all in so it was a quick one and I didn't swell up a lot.
The best part of this ordeal is that my newfound friends, the Gelmans, came out to visit me. Not only did they drive all the way out from Sandy to Stockton, but they have 4 kids ages 5 and under. What friends! We rarely get visitors here because people for some reason seem to think it's our duty to drive in to visit them all the time, and somehow the friendship doesn't work both ways. But Kurt and Lea Gelman are troopers for sure!!! Lea is my new best friend in Utah- we have declared our undying love to each other. Grin. Seriously, though. Since all my other best friends and sisters now live in other states and countries, God truly has blessed me with her friendship. Even with her being a few years older and having 4 kids, we still connected way better than you could have planned. I am blessed.
I took Lea with me to Lagoon for my work Lagoon day a few weeks ago. This is us, after a long hot day of walking around, enjoying some of life's best: fruit.
Lea's true side comes out at youth group.
at the end of June, beginning of July, I went as a youth leader for the Challenge Conference, an Evangelical Free Church Of America youth conference that happens every two years. There were only 4 leaders, Lea and Kurt Gelman, and me and my friend Erik. Lea and I bonded. I pretty much poured out my heart with her- t'was good.
at youth group: Kurt is the youth pastor at church, and I babysit their 4 kids every youth night. Here I am with their youngest, Zion. He's adorable.
Now I'm just chillaxin at home, getting bored and catching up on The Office. My jaw hurts.
Friday, August 01, 2008
early morning and my coffee
some lovely trees from Hatley's and my hike, up Deseret Peak
me and my new sister in law, Ashley
I know how to have a good time dancing!
just to let you all know, I drink way too much coffee these days. ever since getting a job promotion to a desk, I've had copious amounts of coffee. daily. I'm pretty sure I'm going to get ulcers sooner than later. but it's just so hard to stay awake when just sitting at a desk all day!
recently when listening to a Relevant Podcast, they were interviewing one of their interns. he told them that when he started working there, he was surprised and kind of disappointed upon finding out that most of the work was just sitting at a desk, staring at a computer. and they all agreed that this is what the real world is like.
I'm not so sure I agree- at least, it doesn't have to be that way. not for everyone.
QUESTION: (imagine that being asked in a Dwight style tone) what do YOU do too much of?
strange, the pictures I randomly picked to use for this post........
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