men

I totally crashed a men only party tonight. on accident. my bad. but then I won at Settlers, with just a little help from Joel. overall, it wasn't even awkward. score.

new

cheerleader!


today Kate and I went to Jack Mormon Coffee. My friend Melissa McGibbon wrote an article in a Utah Sports Guide about coffee, and she mentioned Jack Mormon. I thought we should give it a try, so we walked on over and experienced a "new" coffee shop. It was good.

On the way back, we stopped at an outdoors store and I bought a belay device. Mine had disappeared over the years and I don't want to borrow anymore. Then we went next door to a local and quirky music store to look at violins. I wanted to get some pricing from people other than your typical guitar center. I'm probably going to borrow a friend's and take lessons from another friend. Kate might buy a cello and learn that, then we can trade off and learn the opposite.

I planted some seed paper today. I'm pretty excited, I got it from some classmates who used it in a PR pitch in class. Mine is herbs, so that should be cool.

I took Kate to the Jazz game last night. We baked a bunch of stuff last week.
our food stuff.

So...lots of new stuff. Going country swing dancing in my new cowboy boots tonight. First time with them, I'm hoping they work better than my shoes.

Cheers to new times.

my boots!

:: She Is ::

12-14-09

She is the one who lives what she speaks. Her example is a constant reminder, a flicker of hope that some do, indeed, live what they believe. She is love.

Her love plays out in small ways. Small, in the little things she might do everyday, such as bring a homeless woman home to shower and have dinner and a warm place to sleep. Small, like forgoing personal comfort in order to provide dance lessons for her daughter. Small, in the moment of putting down a good book to listen to her child pour out his troubles. But also in big ways, such as taking her entire family to the park to feed the homeless, picket against a cause she could not support, devote her entire life to serving her family.

She is Jesus. Her heart is large, her passion pure. Her love extends beyond the walls of her home, beyond the walls of the church, beyond the walls of her community and beyond the walls of her country. Her love encompasses her life and seeps into the lives of all types of people, from all walks of life and from all nations. She is Jesus. She is Jesus to them, she is Jesus to me. And she is my Mother.

Mom, your life is a constant example to me of Jesus’ heart. Although you seem to not see it and may never believe me, you alone are the purest, living example of Jesus I have ever encountered. Selfishness seems to be a foreign entity to you. You may be able to pick out certain areas where you are weak, where you don’t think you love. No, you’re not perfect. But where you lack, where you may fall, you also are humble and ready to change. To grow. To become more like Him. And in this, I see the heart of God.

I am who I am because of you. My biggest passions for serving the afflicted, the orphans, the broken and needy, the poor and the aliens: Mom, you put that in me. Because your heart is so deep in Christ’s heart, you passed those passions and compassion to me. I always remember reading books from the library that you checked out for me. Books about World War II, books about the pain and suffering people suffer all over the world. You gave me a big-picture view of life, of need, and of love. You live by example, risking comfort and safety to love like Jesus calls you to. People may laugh and scoff at your convictions, people may judge and raise eyebrows at your decisions, but your desire is to honor and serve your Lord. In this is purity and truth. And in this, I find strength and comfort.

Mom, your life is a testimony to me that Jesus is alive today. Your love is patient, your love is kind, your love is not self-seeking and your love covers a multitude of wrongs. Your love is real, Mom. Your love has helped guide me and push my passions, stubbornness, and faithfulness in the right direction- to Jesus, to truth, and to not compromising what I stand for.

Mom, I love you. You are beautiful. You shine like the stars, and I pray to God I might have even a small portion of your heart. Thank you for being you. Thank you for living Jesus.


Love,

Susanna

crazy dreams!

Last night I dreamt my professor Tim Larson died, so my final was cancelled. But then I was a ceremony of his casket at the University of Utah, and a picture frame fell on his body and he got up, and it wasn't him, it was a much larger man. The guy walked away and I was the only one still in the room to witness it. I was shocked, because Tim is a much smaller man, so I KNEW he wasn’t really dead. Just hidden somewhere. I went out to go talk to someone on the freeway, and parked my car in the middle median. I saw a police office stop to write me a ticket on a yellow sticky note, so I grabbed it off my car and followed him into a little café. He was sitting with four other officers, so I approached them all and said, “you are all on the police force, correct?” they responded with a “yes”, so I proceeded to tell them the situation with my professor, and that they needed to investigate. They did take me seriously, and seemed to know about the picture frame falling onto the body, but they didn’t seem to care as much as I did that it wasn’t the right shaped/sized body. They seemed to think I’d be excited that my final was canceled. Finally I gave up, thanked them and said goodbye and picked up my sticky note ticket. Halfway down the street I realized I left my purse inside the café, so I slipped back in quietly, picked it up and left. Then I went “home” where dad was on a balcony and I was below, looking at trees. I kept trying to tell him something was fishy, but he didn’t seem concerned, either.


And that, is what I dreamt.

newsflash

I think it's all fake. I don't think it's what God designed it to be. I think we've let ourselves become to ingrown, too comfortable with what the western version says it should be. there has to be more, there needs to be reality. I know it's out there, I see glimpses from other places. there is hope. but there is also still a bubble. a light, fluffy and self-indulged version of what Christ really died to bring.

and I don't think I can handle the facade anymore. it's bad enough to deal with my own selfishness, pride and hypocrisy. I don't want to be involved in a mass setting of it.