my life is going to change. there's nothing I can do about it, because it's coming no matter what. whether it ends up being very small, or something drastic, the ball of change is rolling at me at a rapid speed. there's no avoidance anymore. no uncertain procrastination. being unsure of what will honor God most, what will glorify Him best, all I can do is say: (repeat after me) "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6. Proverbs 3:5-6. Proverbs 3:5-6. Proverbs 3:5-6, Proverbs 3:5-6 Proverbs 3:5-6 Proverbs3:5-6proverbs35-6proverbs356.........breath.
when exactly does one reach the point where one has transferred the burden, the worry, onto God? how does one know when one has reached that point? or is it much like sanctification, a daily, often hourly occurrence?
in other news. I am ashamed of myself. utterly ashamed and disgusted. after all I claim to believe, support, and desire: I failed to listen to the Holy Spirit TWICE, in the very same place, two weeks in a row. What a little hypocrite.
she stood there. on the same corner they always stand, rain or shine,when these events take place. but now, my heart was changed. something should be different. a new occurrence, a brand-new outcome. there's compassion now. a desire to give. to serve. closer, closer she gets, as my feet travel her direction. her eyes. alive? dead? dull and empty? or a glimmer of hope remaining?
the moment has arrived. something must happen. only two choices. what is right, and what is wrong. many options for what is right, and also many unknowns. only one option for what is wrong: just walk away.
what's this?? the latter? no, no! that's not what you want! why? why do you ignore, pretend you did not see her pain, her suffering, her need. she is He. He is waiting. looking. Hoping. yet, selfishness wins. fear, of what the others (others who are just as unknown and nameless anyway!) may think. fear of pointing, whispers, stares. so you turn. you give in to the evil. continue on your way, betraying all you say you stand for.
she is still there. remaining. in need. desperate. you are so blessed, your life is plentiful. yet fear wins, and you remain selfish. despicable.
she is gone. you seek her out, but your chance is gone. wait....what? now it's him- another one in need. do it, do it! there's not much time/see his eyes? he's in need/he is human/he is Christ/He is pleading.
again? twice in two weeks, twice in one night? the fear of man, the fear of the unknown wins, over the desire and knowledge of what is good/true/lovely/blessed? you are weak. you need Him, more than even they. O, that He would have mercy on your poor and selfish heart!!!
sm²
Oh God! Forgive me. Show me mercy; give me another chance. I have grieved you, and that grieves me. Forgive me, Father!
5 comments:
God will give you another chance to redeem yourself. You okay?...Well written....I wasn't sure if it was from a book or something....I"m not sure how to respond. I LOVE YOU...
I agree with Cassie, I can't tell if they're your feelings or from a well written book. I hope everything's okay?
Is this a school assignment? You have to update us; we are all lost!
it was my personal response to some events in my life. if it were a song, I would reference the artist. if a school assignment, it would have been stated thus. I guess I should have signed it, so I shall edit it now. and perhaps create an personal way of tagging everything in my posts, so you know what's my quality authorship and some "other" writer. :) cheers. I feel honored that my writing capabilities threw you off, and you didn't realize it was mine. but perhaps I should be offended that you don't think I'm good enough to write as if from a book..........? grin.
Not sure what to say (probably nothing I can), but I thought I'd say I'm still here! It's good to hear from you, even the darker side. :-)=
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