Life Lessons 2010

This year has been one of refining my heart, mind and life. Just when I would feel I had things figured out, and when I thought I was living out the truths I believed, God would reveal the humanity of my soul to me and take me to a new level- He’s deepened my understanding of so many truths, and shown me so many ways my heart has needed changing. I so desperately needed to write it all out, not only for my sake of processing it, but also to hopefully share with others the journey he’s taking me on. Here is the beginning…


1. Identity

My identity is in Christ. Or so I thought. Throughout 2010, however, certain things have quickly been obliterated from my life. I moved from the apartment in downtown Salt Lake City, the location I had always “identified” myself with. I became jobless and no longer a student. My car hit a railroad tie (lying in the middle of the road!) and I was without my car for a bit, dependant on the mercy of my parent’s goodwill.) My computer has struggled and nearly died, my camera was broken, my phone was a mess, I was financially destitute, and I moved three times in four months, no longer able to identify even a place to call home. I am a soul who finds great comfort and security in how my life is ordered, what is mine and unfortunately, having an identity in the “things” and “interests” most important to me. (Camera, quality phone, being known for my high taste in film, beverage, food, etc.) I don’t think I even fully realized what was happening—it wasn’t apparent until they were all taken away and I began to struggle without those things. Then I realized, I hadn’t fully been placing my identity in Christ, but my identity was in Christ—and all those “things.” The worst part yet is that I foolishly tend to look down on people who find their identity in things I don’t value. (Husband, kids, money, status, job, house, etc.)

I can look back now and see where I was slipping into an identity as a University of Utah student, or even worse, a watered down version of a hipster, or as a food and drink snob, as a cynic—you get the picture. I don’t necessarily see anything wrong with liking or enjoying aspects of any of that. But my life was becoming defined by it, instead of allowing Christ and his Word to define me. And that’s the dangerous path I never again want to even glance down.

Slowly, but surely, over the last few months God’s been using the instances of the unknown, (no job, no home, no financial security) as well as stripping me of any earthly identity, to reveal these truths to me. I’ve also been listening to Matt Chandler sermons on Colossians, and yesterday one hit home. (Excited to hear what he says about Colossians 3;23!) I was really tracking with him, when he was talking about Colossians 2:6-8, and how we need to be rooted in Christ and find our identity in him. It’s been a refining and sometimes painful process for sure, but the last few months have been a beautiful time of truly letting go of it all, and through seeking him daily, sometimes hourly, I find myself back to where I was nine years ago, grounded in him, not the things of this earth. I feel 17 Again. But in a humbling, grateful way. My identity is more in Christ now then ever before, and my heart is happy. Glory!