:: along came a spider, and sat down beside her ::

THAT was metaphoric. I have had spiders come along, and "sit" beside me, but I cannot remember the last time it happened. So, metaphorically speaking, a spider has sat down beside me. And it is causing me grief. mmm.....perhaps we had better take a few steps back, and start at a more logical time.....

The last few months have flown by, much quicker than any winter I can recall. (This is good, very good!)It can be attributed in part to working full time, taking classes full time, and having full time friendships- many, many wonderful people to fill my sparse time! But the biggest factor is God. And my heart. And how my heart is much more in tune with God. I LOVE it!


See, I intentionally chose to begin some reconciliation with old friends. Before leaving for Brazil, my heart had become hardened, bitter, and cold towards some people. Many of them didn't and still don't realize why- unfortunately, I don't always share when I should. Regardless, I had essentially been holding grudges against a lot more people than I realized. So, one by one, (or two by two, since some are married.)I forgave in my heart, let it go, and initiated a reestablishment of our past friendship. There are still a few more to go, the two hardest and most scary ones included, but I'm trusting that God WILL make everything work together for good.

Amazingly, every time my heart forgave a person, it felt like that bit of my heart was restored. You have no idea how much more alive I feel now, compared to even as recent as October. It feels like I have new eyes, new lungs, a new spirit. I experienced a week of absolute beauty and glory in December- a fantastic sunset three nights in a row, shooting stars twice in the same week, fabulous talks with friends that revealed to me God's heart is truly touching the people in my life, and a new-found passion for Jesus. I saw beauty in the snow, in babies again, in the architecture of buildings, and the warmth of a fire. During this time, I seriously felt like I was on a spiritual high- I kept going, and going, and going. Little sleep, and tons of busyness- yet I never crashed. In fact, I still haven't! (Although, I feel I am getting sick, which is a good sign that I am pushing myself too hard.)

God's been so good to me, and the past few months, through the whole process, I keep finding myself seeing all the blessings he's given me. It's as though before, I was so consumed with myself, with all I wanted or thought was best for me, that I had forgotten to see with the eyes of Jesus. And now.......

One of the best things I've realized is how many amazing friends I have. Not just friends, but best friends. True "till death" type friends. Brook, Jes, Lea, Elizabeth, Rebecca, Shana, Hatley, Cassie, Lydia, Julia...what is so truly amazing about this, though, is that when I was 16, I constantly begged God for a friend. Just one close friend. And I never got one, not till a few years later. I know that whether that was God's specific plan or not, he did use it in my life. It forced me to go to Him, and Him alone. He was my sole comfort and strength. Though I falter at times, and revert back to man's opinions and expectations, I still have that strong foundation he created in me nine years ago. And now,I can revel in the joy of sharing life with some awesome girls who love me.





What's even better......because of my heightened desire for God, and my joy in my friendships, i have realized one singular, incredible fact:

I am. Content being single. Not to say I don't want to Marry some day, etc, etc, etc. But for once in my life, I am not plagued by constant longing for a relationship. Holy freaking cow! That is AMAZING!

So that's been my heart. I've also witnessed a few reconciled relationships with other people, which I would never have imagined- definitely, all the glory goes to God. It brings a smile to my face, and I look forward to seeing more of this to come.

My adventures.........

I drove down to Page, Arizona for a weekend to meet up with Shana. She's doing a Physical Therapy Clinical in Sierra Vista, so we met up halfway to hang out. It was a blast, refreshing, and beautiful. We saw Antelope Canyon, which I quickly realized is very famous, but I had no idea where it was. I captured some great shots of the place, which made my day.










The following weekend, I flew to Hawaii to visit Zac and Brook. It was a bit of a last minute decision, and I actually told few people about it. (Hey, I like keeping some things in confidence!) Elizabeth flew in the same day, and I was there for most of her visit. We packed in tons of adventures: Pearl Harbor, the downtown beach area, drinks at the Red Lion, the swap meet, snorkling, a couple of hikes, a visit to the north shore to take some fun beach pics, (for the use of photoshoping later, heheheheh!) a sunset dinner cruise with the most annoying tour guide EVER. We also visited the Dole Plantation, and ate Pineapple ice cream- then Elizabeth led us through "2001's World's Biggest Maze"! She was great. Oh, and yum! We also bought some fresh fruit and ate that at the beach. We played Rockband one night, and I will tell you. I hate snowboarding, and I hate Rockband.



We stayed on Oahu. It was terribly touristy. But I went solely to spend some quality time with Zac and Brook, and get some warm weather. I scored very highly in both areas. It was hard to come home to a snowy airport.......




Now that I'm back, I'm trying to stay warm, enjoy spending hours upon hours of sanding doors at work, keep up on schoolwork, and spend time with my friends. On Friday, I went Rock climbing at Rockreation with Rebecca, then snowboarding with Lea and her friend Melissa, then to Brewvies with Dan, Keith, Jacob, and Elizabeth. We saw an interesting documentary type film on David Frost and Richard Nixon, regarding (duh) Watergate and Frost's interviews with Nixon. I had never realize what a conceited man Nixon was.......

Saturday, I went to the World Cup Bobsled races with my friend Leigh and her coworker Leah. Wow, it was frigid up there in Park City! It was neat to see, it was my first time, but wow. Cold. Did you know, Salt Lake is bidding on another winter olympics? you have to wait 12 years, so that would be 2014. And since Lake Placid and Utah are the only places in the USA that have the bobsled facilities, well, we seem to have a good shot! (and plenty of money to pass around...) Then I headed to a game night at Cassie and Jake's, where the married couple hosted all the singles without dates for V-day! Thanks, guys! You're the greatest! It was the best V-Day since 2004, when a bunch of YWAM guys gave all the girls roses and foot massages. heh.

I hope this is enough for now. I'm beginning to run out of thoughts, myself. Enjoy!

(oh. the grief I mentioned at the top? that's going to have to be for another post. :)


(this one's for you, Charity!)